Date:	2005-05-03 12:47
Subject:	They either want to use me or be used by me
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	Jet: Cold Hard Bitch

"Unfortunately, after you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it or we suffer the consequences. But still, growing up has its perks. I mean, the shoes, the sex, the parents not telling us what to do..That's pretty damn good."

So I haven't updated in awhile. I really should, but I haven't been able to bring myself to.
Right now I have the worst bloody motherfucking cold of my life. Today was review for one of my classes and I didn't go..Felt too damn lousy. Now I'm worried that I'll fail the final because I won't know at all what it's about. Thinking of emailing the teacher. Hopefully she'll get back to me.

I've been reading what I've posted here and getting somewhat sick of hearing myself. Anyone know of a way to delete everything without having to manually delete each entry? I'm much too lazy to spend my time that way.

I'll update again later when I'm less grumpy, heh.

Haha..So today I found the RPG that Kevin made for me about 2 years ago on my upstairs computer.
I have to say, it rocks. My character is a drunken, crazy BLONDE (*gasp*) who is chased around by Kevin. Pat is a dog. Zelly is a warrior princess who is obsessed with Aya. The narrator is a chicken.
Best present I've ever got =*)

Date:	2004-12-07 10:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	indifferent
Music:	The Donnas - Gold Medal

Meh.
Is it a bad sign when an ex tells you that the shirt: "Lady Mullets are Sexy" reminds him of you?
I like the ridiculous. It amuses me.
..This is probably why my screen name is yoshiismylover and I used to say that Richard Simmons and numerous inanimate objects turned me on. Please don't think that they actually DID; if you DO think so, I think you need psychiatric help.

Anyway.
So Christmas is coming up and I wanted to feel..Christmas-ey this year, because my last two Christmases kind of sucked. So I'm planning on seeing a play, going on a sleigh ride, going sledding, seeing the ice sculptures in St. Paul, and so on. All the Christmas stuff that I've never done.
I hope I have fun.

I've been reading Catcher in the Rye for school..and I have to say, it surprises me. I haven't ever liked a book I had to read for school (they always give us wholesome, corny crap) but Catcher in the Rye is hilarious. It's very profane. I love the main character.
For example:

"What he was doing, he was giving her a feel under the table, and at the same time telling her all about some guy in his dorm who had eaten a whole bottle of aspirin and nearly committed suicide. Imagine giving somebody a feel and telling them about a guy committing suicide at the same time! They killed me."

Critics have said that the main character is stuck between childhood and adulthood. And he kind of is. But it's still funny to read what he says- he's ironicly cynical and at the same time vulnerable.

Date:	2004-11-24 23:12
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	drained
Music:	Garbage - Paranoid

It's strange. I've gone from being semi-happy to being completely desolate. Did I spell that right? I think so.

Someone once told me that wisdom comes from jadedness..and I'm not stupid enough to say I don't want it. It's good to be wise. But it's funner to be naive and innocent and not know of all the shitty things in the world, people in the world, etc etc etc you get my point

I'm wise enough to know that it's not good to have as much pride as myself. I have to be the best at everything - I have to be the most beautiful, the thinnest, the smartest, the funniest, etc. See why this would be a problem?

Thank God I have thick skin, or I'd be miserable all the time. That said, something happened today to pierce my impenatrable (again, spelling) armor. Not that anyone makes fun of me or anything - besides brother's friend. And I like it when he teases me. Usually.

Anyway, don't want to talk about why I'm miserable.

The End.

On a more happy note:


Yesterday night I was listening to this radio talk show (I was bored, believe me) and I heard a woman complaining about teenage angst. About how its cool to be angsty. Have to say I agree- Am tired of people bragging about their antidepressents, therapists etc. It's not cool to have issues.
That might seem kind of hypocritical seeing as how I just posted an angsty, angsty journal but believe me, I'm not stupid enough to think its cool to be miserable.

Had to do this animal test for..career investigations, a crappy class that I'm required to take. The animal I'm most like? A tiger.



Tigers are handsome and powerful people with an innate self-confidence and elegance. There's a sense of immediacy and an aura of electricity that surrounds it, and when it walks into a room, something always seems about to happen. Consider the classic tiger personality of F. Lee Bailey. He expresses himself with the confidence of one who expects his orders to be unquestionably followed, and his autocratic style demands respect and commands fear. For once a tiger has found its groove, it focuses on its goal with a brightly burning intensity. Male tigers, when out of their element, are sometimes mistaken for beefcake. But when you see them in their offices wearing their power suits, you realize that you're dealing with incisive, authoritarian individuals.

As a nocturnal hunter the tiger is equipped with a great deal of street sense. Able to read people's motivations and assess situations quickly, it is blunt and to the point, commanding attention with just a whisper or a raising of its eyebrow. It demands respect and commands fear. Unlike their cat relatives, tigers enjoy sports of all kinds, with a particular affinity for water sports. They are often seen in the company of river dolphins and sea lions on a casual and socially limited basis.

With a need to dominate their partners, their passionate advances can often be too intense for those fainthearted partners, so they must choose their lovers wisely. Because of their propensity for solitude, they avoid long-lasting relationships and place little value on fidelity -- proving to be unsettled and promiscuous.

Marry it? Yes. Tame it? Never! It's hard to put one's finger on why the tiger struggles to settle down, but one theory has it that the tiger views marriage as a threat to its independence. But their emotional detachment should not be confused with a desire to avoid intimacy; for intimacy is the tiger's greatest sensual tool. By offering its lover its deeply held secrets, it adds another dimension of eroticism to its lovemaking.

However, those tigers that have been married for a while will tell you that matrimony can be quite agreeable. Perhaps then, it's their impossible search for the perfect partner that keeps them on the prowl, although more than likely, we'll never understand the dark forces that frame its fearful symmetry.

Date:	2004-11-04 11:02
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	Donnas: Fall behind me

You're gonna fall behind me
You're gonna cry and beg for mercy
Cause you're not ready and baby..
You got nothin on me


Am fucking *PISSED* that Bush won.
Damn the people in Ohio who voted for Bush.

I spent the whole day yesterday being depressed whilst mother tried to make me feel better by giving some example of how nice Bush was that he called to make sure some Miss America pagaent person who fainted at the same event as him was.
I'm perfectly willing to admit that Bush is nice SOMETIMES, but he's a shitty leader. And if his campaign is any index of his kindness, he's a shitty person too. Dirty, dirty campaign. For gods sake, he had a campaign event comparing democrats with WOLVES.

Oh well. At least the person we voted for for the House of Reps won, and MN has a democratic majority in said house. And Obama won in Illinois! I think it'd be great if a minority person was elected President. Obama isn't old enough yet, but he's popular..he could run in the future.

On a less serious note, I want to show you all the story I wrote for Myth and Legends.

(NOTE: In the myth of Phaethon, Phaethon drives Apollo's sun chariot and almost destroys the earth. That's what I'm talking about in the first paragrph.)

My story does not end with as serious results as Phaethon's story ended with. Nonetheless, it shares the same core situation, or, say, moral that Phaethon's does: It is unwise to have too much pride, too much vanity, and too much brazen confidence.
My story began one day last summer. I was on vacation with the parents in the most exotic of locations: Duluth, Minnesota. We were staying at the most gorgeous inn in town with the most fabulous name: The Inn.
Despite The Inn's beauty and luxury, I was bored out of my mind that day. There are only so many times a person as adventurous as myself can play Ms. Pacman and flirt with the hotel personnel before she is tempted to bang her head against the wall in frustrated boredom.
Because of this boredom, I decided to convince the parents to go driving in the strange new vehicle that was seen driving around the Duluth boardwalk. It was a strange cart-like thing with wheels and pedals for four people. My parents were unsure about this idea at first, but they relented when I shared with them by dream of riding a motorcycle through Duluth at 120 miles per hour. They decided the first idea was much, much preferable.
So Dad and I trotted off to the vehicle rental location. The rental process went smoothly except for one small detail: Persons under 18 were required to wear helmets. Aghast at this rule, I persueded Dad to say that I was 18. While he attempted to convince the people at the rental place that I just look about, err..two years younger than I *actually* am, I stood by the vehicle attempted to look boredly nonchalant with the whole process. It took some time, but the people finally decided that I could go helmet-less. They gave us the keys to the vehicle. We climbed into it, waved at the rental people, and wheeled onto the dusty dirt road.
I, of course, sat in the driver's seat controlling the vehicle. For one who does not know me, this is no big deal; I'm assumed to have a driver's license. But those who DO know me know that I haven't taken driver's ed on time because of complications in my life.
Knowing this as you do now, it will come to no surprise to you that I found myself unable to control the vehicle. I would (I thought) press the brake pedal, and the vehicle would accelerate. I would try to turn left and the vehicle would turn right. After several near collisions, Dad threatened to bodily force me from the driver's seat. I pointed out that that could be perceived as child abuse to curious passerbys. I added that I was getting the hang of driving, that I was a very responsible person and would tell him if I couldn't control it. (Ha.) Dad decided to allow me 'one more minute' of driving.
In that minute, I accidently drove the vehicle onto the beach and crashed into a small child. Both the child and the vehicle were unhurt, but my vanity was sorely bruised by the angry lecture my dad gave me on the way back to the hotel.
This time, he drived.

Help Stop Violence Against Women in Darfur
Since February 2003, the civilians of Darfur in western Sudan have been victims of coordinated attacks by the Sudanese government and Janjawid militias - bands of Arab fighters on horse and camelback. Mass killings, torture, arbitrary arrest, detention, the torching of homes and entire villages, and the theft and deliberate destruction of crops and cattle have now affected over two million people. Over 30,000 civilians have been killed in the conflict. More than 1 million people have been violently driven from their homes, with an estimated 170,000 seeking refuge in Chad.

Much of the violence perpetuated in the Darfur conflict includes grave human rights abuses against women. The abuses have specifically targeted women and girls and include abductions, sexual slavery, torture and forced displacement. Girls as young as eight years old have been raped and used as sex slaves.

The Janjawid have also tortured women to coerce them to report the whereabouts of their husbands. Forms of torture have reportedly included forcing the faces of women between wooden sticks and pulling out women’s nails. Some women have also reported that the Janjawid has broken the legs of rape victims in order to prevent them from escaping.

…Some 15 women and girls who had not fled quickly enough were raped in different huts in the village. The Janjawid broke the limbs (arms or legs) of some women and girls to prevent them from escaping. The Janjawid remained in the village for six or seven days. After the rapes, the Janjawid looted the houses.
(N., a 30-year-old woman from Um Baru, Konoungou camp).

In many cases, the Janjawid have also raped women in public, in the open air, in front of their husbands, relatives or the wider community. Women and girls are being attacked, not only in an effort to dehumanize them, but also to humiliate, punish, control, inflict fear, displace and persecute the community to which they belong.

The suffering and abuse endured by these women goes far beyond the actual rape. Women who survive this violence often suffer from severe mental and physical health problems, unwanted pregnancies, social stigmatization, and economic difficulties. Rape in itself is a heinous human rights violation, but the survivors are likely to suffer even after the event because of the associated shame and stigma. As women told Amnesty International delegates in Chad in November 2003:
Women will not tell you easily if they have been raped. In our culture, it is a shame. Women hide this in their hearts so that men don’t hear about it.

Married women who have survived sexual violence can be “disowned” by their husbands, while unmarried survivors may never be able to marry because they are considered “spoiled” by their communities. Women who are not able to marry or who have been abandoned by their husbands because they have been raped often become socially and economically vulnerable, unable to enjoy the economic support that men traditionally provide.

In this environment of scarce resources and lack of food security, single women are in particular danger of abuse and exploitation. Their children are more likely to be affected by malnutrition, less likely to receive an education, and they and their daughters may be forced into survival prostitution. Displacement has also led to an increase in the number of early marriages, as parents attempt to use marriage as a means of protecting their daughters.

The mass rapes and other forms of sexual violence taking place in Darfur are war crimes and crimes against humanity, but the international community is doing very little to stop them. Despite the regional and international focus on Darfur and promises by the Sudanese government to disarm the Janjawid militia, there is still no protection for women and girls. Not a single member of the Janjawid or the armed forces has been charged with committing rape or abductions.

Lately I've been obsessed with the music of Garbage. Simply put, it rox. It reminds me of No Doubt, which I also adore.


I know all about you
I have run you down into the ground,
Spread disease about you over town
Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own?
I thought you were special. I thought you should know
But I've run out of patience
I couldn't care less: I was wrong
Now you're here and begging for a chance
There's no way in Hell I'd take you back

Oh and I stole the birth month quiz from Jen. In case you couldn't tell..
Bold = Stuff that I agree with
Non-bold = Stuff that I don't agree with

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted.
Strong-willed and highly motivated.Sharp thoughts
Easily angered
Attracts others and loves attention.
Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally.
Firm Standpoint
Needs no motivation
Easily consoled
Systematic (left brain)
Loves to dream.
Strong clairvoyance.
Understanding. (I wish there was a grey area. I can be either extremely understanding or extremely not understanding.)
Sickness usually in the ear and neck.
Good imagination.
Good physical.
Weak breathing.
Loves literature and the arts.
Loves traveling.
Dislike being at home. (It depends. Sometimes I need 'alone' time.)
Restless.
Not having many children.
Hardworking.
High spirited.
Spendthrift

I had a GREAT night tonight! And, no, that's not sarcasm for once.
Tonight Sakki came over at around 7:30. For the first time in..what, two years?.. I decided to hang out with the guys. The guys being my brother and his friends, who Sakki and I spent the majority of our childhoods hanging out with doing stupid stuff with. It was great because the two of us were tomboys, and we were basically treated just like 'the guys'.
Guess what happened when puberty hit?
Eh, anyway. Again, I felt like just one of the guys- not that I want to be a guy or anything, but it was just nice to actually be treated like an equal. Of course, they probably don't think of us like this, but allow me to keep my little illusions.
We played Mario Kart Double-Dash, Goldeneye, Super Smash Brothers Melee, and Mario Party. In Goldeneye, I was OddJob- Yanno, the short dude- and was promptly nicknamed 'Baby'. Because of my height in the game, I was killed about 12893710273189027319027301 times. Bleh. Yet ironically, in the 'awards' section that popped up after we finished the level, I won the 'Most Predatory' award. =D!!!!
..Imma go to bed now.
~Ince

Date:	2004-06-22 00:08
Subject:	Lalalalalalala
Security:	Public
Mood:	giddy
Music:	Kylie Minogue: Fever

Ugh. I'm tired of being so mature. Physically I'm a 16-year old, mentally, in some ways, a 25-year old. I could tell you how this happened, but I really don't feel like it.
To rebel from feeling so damn old, today I went to the park. Swang on the swings for awhile. Hung upside down without touching the bar for a couple of minutes. Did some cartwheels. Jumped off the 18 or 19 foot high playground equipment.
..D: No one ever said I was a safe, non-risk-taking child.
Anyway. I actually had a lot of fun. I probably looked like a complete idiot, but I didn't care.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd be happier if I hadn't changed and matured and actually accepted how crappy most parts of life are. Yes, I would, probably. But happiness wouldn't be worth being stupid, naive, and innocent again, would it?

Tomorrow, I'm off to volunteer at le hospital near my house. Before, I'll have to get a Mantoux screening, aka, bloodwork. I'm really not bothered by it..I don't mind getting blood taken and shots done. In fact, I usually thank the people who take the blood or do the shot, just to throw them off balance. ;D They expect me to be in hysterics, crying and screaming for my mommy.
After the screening, I'll probably do four hours of paperwork. Oh, joy. What a great way to spend my summer. At least I'll stay busy. Last summer I was so bored that I actually got a small crush on my childhood friend and plague of my life, Kyle. =O! I was very, very worried about myself that summer.
Sakki, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will kick your ass. I still haven't forgiven you for being .11111 inches taller than me, after all ^_^
~ Ince

Date:	2004-06-13 23:46
Subject:	Survey
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold

Stole from Jen..

survey
HAVE YOU EVER:
1) Kissed your cousin: …No.
2) Ran away: Yes.
3) Broken someone's heart: Yes.
4) Been in love: Never.
5) Cried when someone died: No.
6) Broken a bone: I broke my foot once.
7) Drank alcohol: Oui. I adore White Chocolate Irish Crème liqueur.
8) Lied: Yes
9) Cried in school: Never.

WHICH IS BETTER:
10) Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi
11) Sprite or 7up: 7up
12) Girls or guys: Equal.
13) Flowers or candy: Candy.
14) Scruff or clean shaven: I like both on men. Depends on my mood.
15) Quiet or loud: Neither. In-between is the best.
16) Blondes or brunettes: Ehh..I’m usually attracted to brunettes.
17) Bitchy or Slutty: Does anyone (who isn't interested in sluts for obvious reasons) like either? If I had to pick, bitchy. At least bitches have self-respect. :D!!
19) Pants or shorts: Both. I like shorts and fitted jeans.
20) What do you notice first: Height, probably because I’m a 5’2 midget.
21) Last person you slow danced with: I don’t slow dance: I find it boring as hell. I like fast-paced dances like the tango.
22) Worst thing to do: Hm. Murder, rape, incest, abuse, etc.

THE LAST TIME:
23) Showered: Today.
24) Had sex: No comment.
25) Had a great time with the opposite sex: Recently, thanks.

WHAT IS:
26) Your good luck charm: I don’t have one.
27) Person you hate the most: Joe wins by a landslide.
29) Favorite color: Red
30) Favorite movie: Meet the Parents
31) Favorite book: Crocodile on the Sandbank
32) Favorite subject in school: English
34) Favorite cars: I’m not into cars. I can’t even drive yet, kthx.
35) Favorite ice cream: Vanilla with caramel and pecans.
36) Favorite holiday: Christmas
37) Favorite season: Summer
38) Favorite breakfast food: Scones
39) Favorite music: Rock
DO YOU EVER:
40) Sit by the phone waiting for someone to call?: No
41) Save internet conversations: Sometimes.
42) Save emails: Not usually, no.
43) Wish you were someone else: No.
44) Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Hell, no.
45) Cried because of someone's mean words: Never.
50) Most recent advice given to you: ..Something about modesty being the greatest virtue.
DO YOU:
51) Color your hair: Yes. A little darker and redder.
53) Have piercings: Double-pierced ears. Thinking about getting the cartilage or a third piercing done.
54) Have a boyfriend: Not at the moment, no. I think, therefore I am single =P
55) Own a webcam: No.
56) Own a thong: ;D I’ll leave you in mystery, darling.
57) Ever get off the computer: Frequently.
58) Sprechen sie deutsche: No.
59) Habla espanol: No.
60) Quack: ..All the time. In a previous life, I was Daffy Duck.
61) Stolen anything: Once.
62) Smoke: No.
63) Schizophrenic: No.
64) Obsessive: Yes.
65) Compulsive: No.
66) Obsessive compulsive: No.
67) Panic: No.
68) Anxiety: No.
69) Depresed: Sometimes.
70) Suicidial: No
71) Obsessed with hate: ..Yes.
72) Dream of mutliated bodies: No.
73) If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: England or Hawaii.
74) You do anything freakish with your body? My tongue can touch the tip of my nose.
75) What facial feature do you find the most attractive: Eyes.
76) Would you vote for a woman candidate for president/prime minister/chancellor: Definitely. Stupid question.
77) Would you marry for money: No
78) Have you had braces: Yes.
79) Do you pluck your eyebrows: No, I don’t need to.
80) Do you like hairy backs: ..O_O God, yes. I adore them. [/sarcasm]
81) Could you live without a computer: Yes.
84) If you could live in any post time period, which would it be?: ..It’d be fun to be a Celtic warrior woman.
85) Do you drink enough water: 9 oz a day.
86) Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off: Take them off.
87) What is your favorite fruit: Strawberries. Papaya. Pineapple.
88) Do you eat wheat bread or white: White.
90) Are you photogenic: Is it a bad sign if people don’t recognize you in pictures?
91) Do you dream in color or black and white: Color.
92) Are you wearing fingernail polish: No
93) Do you have any dimples: Yes, unfortunately.
94) Do you remember being born: Does anyone?
95) Why do you take survey's: Do I need a reason?
96) What is the best accent: English, hands down.
97) What star do you want to kiss: A non-gay Rupert Everett. @_@
98) Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most: Sunsets
99) Do you want to live to be 100?: I want to live to be 200.
100) Are you loyal: Depends. I’m incredibly loyal to those I love, but if someone screws me over, I don’t forgive or forget. Ever.
101) Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs: Yes
102) When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off
103) Do you have nightmares frequently: Every night.
106) Do you like your nose: It’s gorgeous.
107) Do you think you can draw well: NO.
108) At what age did you find out Santa Claus wasn't real?: I don’t remember.
109) How many pairs of shoes are in your closet: Twelve.
110) Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like variety?: Variety is the spice of life.
111) Do you write poetry: Not good poetry, no.
112) Do you snore: I hope not.
113) Do you sleep more on your back, front, side or tummy?: Tummy and side.
114) Dog/cat? Dog
115) Do you lick stamps: Yes
116) Do you use an electric can opener?: No
117) Have you ridden in a hot air balloon: No. I want to, though.
118) Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain: I can handle both.
119) Favorite TV show: Alias. Friends. Spin City.
120) Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed? Depends on the definition of clinically depressed.
121) Do you prefer a piano or violin: Violin.
122) Are you a sex addict? ..;D
123) Do you know someone who has cancer? Yes.
124) Do you like to argue: I love to debate. I like to argue.
125) Do you hunt: No. Anyone who hunts animals for sport is an ass. How would YOU like to have your head mounted on a wall?
126) Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants: Expensive restaurants.
127) Would you rather vist a zoo or an art musuem: Zoo.
128) Do you have a middle name?: Yes. Marie.
129) Are you basically a happy person: Not at the moment, no.
130) Are you tired?: Yes, its’ 11:32.
131) Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: No. I don’t drink caffeine.
132) Now many phones do you have in your house: 10 with 2 lines.
133) How long is your hair: Very, very long.
134) Do you get along with your parents? Sometimes
135) What color of eyes do you prefer: Gray or blue.
136) First name: Anne
137) Were you named after anyone?: No
138) Do you wish on stars?: No
139) When did you last cry?: A very long time ago.
140) If you were making a movie about yourself, what would the title be?: I have no idea.
141) Do you like your handwriting: No
142) Who do you admire and why: Ehh. Cleopatra, Eleanor of Acquitaine, Angelina Jolie. (For God's sake, the woman donated $17 million to the U.N and frequently works as a U.N. Ambassador. Even if she’s kinda..weird (understatement of the year), I still admire her.)
143) What is the #1 priority in your life?: It seems to change a lot. Friendship and ambition, right now.
144) What is your favorite lunchmeat?: Pastrami.
145) Any bad habits: I like swinging my feet.
146) What is your most embarrassing CD?..I got the soundtrack from the Princess Diaries a few years ago. ~_~ Threw it out looooooonnnnngg ago.
147) If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself: Maybe.
148) Are you a daredevil: Hell yeah.
149) Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Never, unless the person who told it to me screwed me over.
151) Do looks matter? I used to think so. Now I think relationships based on looks are the stupidest things in the world.
152) Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid: Haha..yes.
153) Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: No
154) Do fish have feelings: I really don’t care
155) Are you trendy? Yes
156) How do you release anger?: ..Breaking stuff in my room and screaming.
158) Do you trust others easily: I usually don’t trust others at all, darling.
159) What was your favorite toy as a child?: Legos
160) What class in school do you think is totally useless? Gym
161) Do you like sappy love songs? Not usually, especially if they’re dedicated to me.
162) Have you ever been on radio or television: Neither.
163) Do you have a journal: Yes
164) Do you use sarcasm a lot: Mmhmm.
165) Have you ever been in another country: Canada.
166) What do you look for in a guy?: Intelligence, sense of humor, wittiness, confidence, determination.
167) What is/are your nicknames? Annie, Roxie (don’t ask), Queen Anne (again, don’t ask -_-) , Dagger, Ince, etc.
168) Would you bungee jump? Yesyesyesyesyes
169) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?: No
170) What are you worried about right now?: Not anything I want to say in a survey.
171) Do you think you are strong?: Too strong
172) What's your least favorite thing in the world: fine. It’s the most overused word.
173) How many wisdom teeth do you have? All of them.
174) What would you change about yourself?: Nothing.

I [VERB]:
175) I need: To trust people more.
177) I want: Deep friendships.
178) I have: Shallow friendships.
179) I wish: For honesty, loyalty, and all that nice crap.
180) I love: ? I’m not sure.
181) I hate: Being pitied.
182) I miss: My childhood.
183) I fear: Nothing.
184) I feel: Tired.
185) I hear: The fan.
186) I smell: Lilacs.
187) I wonder: About everything in life.
188) I regret: Too much.

Date:	2004-06-09 11:44
Subject:	Tired. Hungry. Pissed.
Security:	Public
Mood:	predatory
Music:	Pink: Can't Get me Down

I'm so friggin tired of people talking about diets. Especially because no one knows what they're talking about.
The Atkin's diet (and all of the other 'fad' diets) are crap created for sheep-like followers to spend all of their money on. Do they work? No. Anyone who actually looked up how the diets worked before spending their money would know this. If you *really* want proof that these diets won't work, ask me and I'll explain them to you. If you don't give a damn, I really don't want to waste my time explaining it right now.
For God's sake, people, stop looking at magazines and celebrities and thinking you're seeing reality. Ever heard of a little technique called airbrushing? Ever heard about how most celebrities take scores of (dangerous) diet pills, laxitives, etc. to stay thin and sometimes subside on nothing but water for weeks? If not, I can send you a nice little article that will change that.

..Okay. Done ranting. My point is, people, please don't diet. Not only is it giving in to our society's stupid ideals, but it can really wreck your life. To boot, it usually only makes people feel better about themselves in the short-term. After losing a little weight, people usually get obsessed and try to lose more to look 'as good as possible'. Always, this leads to unhappiness. Sometimes, this can also lead to eating disorders, which, believe me, aren't fun. If you want to have the hair on your head fall out, get scaly skin, grow hair all over your body , (yes, this 'lanugo' is a side effect of anorexia nervosa) get ostereoporosis, get dehydrated, get anemia, maybe have a heart attack, and even die, then, by all means, get an eating disorder with my blessing. These aren't all of the physical effects, and I haven't even started with the emotional ones yet ;D.
Oh and, by the way, the whole rant above only applies to those who aren't obese and haven't been told by a doctor that they NEED to lose weight for health reasons.

I wish I had heard this several years ago. I wouldn't have cared-I'm stupidly headstrong and stubborn- but it would've warned me of what was to come.
Kthx, bye.

I want a Siberian Husky. I found out today at my volunteer job at the Humane Society that men are afraid of me when I walk one.

Me: *Walking Siberian Husky, Jaycee, for le volunteer job*
Men: *drive up in car*
Men: *leer, then see the huge dog with the bloodthirsty grin next to me*
Men: *pee their pants*
Men: *drive away*
Me: EHEHEHEHEHEE *cackles evilly*

This evil glee (beautiful word, no?) occurs because I'm getting very *pissed* at men who either..

a) Drool, stare, leer, etc. while with girlfriends, spouses, or significant others. And when they're not.
b) Honk, whistle, bark, etc. at me.
c) Try to show off by doing lame stunts on rollerblades, skateboards, whatever.

Damn it, I'm tired of being treated like an object. Most girls would giggle and act like all of this attention is a HUGE TURNON!!!! :D!!!!! Me, I just want the idiots to go home and stop being shallow, horny 6-year olds.
Is it 'weird' to be independent and non-vain like this? If so, darling, I really don't give a damn. I'm 'weird'. So sue me.

My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

I feel sick to my stomach from doing research for my paper about violence against women. Since I pretty much have heard about every disgusting thing that's happened in this world, that's saying a lot.

Here's some nice little facts to show you what's making me feel sick:

One in five women will be a victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime (WHO 1997).
· In South Africa 147 women are raped every day (South African Institute for Race Relations 2003).
· In the USA a woman is raped every 90 seconds (US Department of Justice, 2000).
* More than 135 million girls and women have undergone female genital mutilation and an additional 2 million girls and women are at risk each year (6,000 every day) (A, UN, 2002).

Oh yes, and I have to mention the scores of women who are forced into prostitution by their families in Kosovo!! :D!! We live in a lovely world.

Date:	2004-05-16 13:49
Subject:	I'm gonna rouge my knees and wear my stockings down..And all that jazz.
Security:	Public
Mood:	cynical
Music:	Chicago: All That Jazz

For some reason, I've been obsessed with the movie Chicago lately. I simply adore the cynicism in it. Maybe I'm insane, but I would've LOVED to live in that time as a flapper.

..Anyway. No time to write more, I have 189273102731902 things I'm supposed to be doing right now.

Date:	2004-05-03 20:30
Subject:	Watch me laugh hysterically
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	nothing. So sue me.

I'm sick and tired of the shallowness of high school. Right now, if someone told me that being in high school was the best experience of their life, I would kick their ass and scream bloody murder. Whilst shoving a spork up their nose.
WHY is appearance in our society-and high school-so godamn important? I have no illusions about my acceptance in my new school this year. I'm allowed to be eccentric (meaning, WOWOWOWOW I actually say hello to unpopular people and am good friends with them!) because I have a beautiful face. And no, I'm not saying that to be vain or brag. I could care less what my face looks like. It's everyone else who thinks it's a big deal.
Christ, why is being beautiful such a great success? It's genetics; I am this way because my parents decided to have sex and combined their chromosomes. It's not like I did anything to be beautiful, besides having my DNA arranged a certain way. I'd rather be praised for something I actually did in my life like, say, finding a cure for cancer or..what the hell, you get the point.
Ah forget it. I have to go do homework.
~ AMF

Date:	2004-04-22 13:46
Subject:	Quizzes
Security:	Public
Mood:	mischievous
Music:	Pink: Most Girls

Yaaay, quizzes.

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

You are a Countess!
Ambitious, Determined, Resourceful!
Breathtaking and charismatic.
You will never take no for an answer,
and will work to achieve your goals.


You demand a lot from yourself and others, and dislike incompetence. You are business-motivated and/or interested in politics. You seek positions of power and authority. You are intelligent and career oriented. You also may like to argue and debate. Overall, an amazing woman who is a force to be reckoned with!

..O_O Pretty damn accurate about my serious side. Too bad it doesn't mention my mischevious sense of humor, rebelliousness, and such. Then again, if it did, I'd worry that I had stalkers.




Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.



You are a Jungle Beauty!
You are strong - both physically, mentally, and
as a woman. You are very sensual and like
a panther - sleek, powerful, charged!